I feel like I understand the part of how to receive love. I am 38 years old, married for the last 12 years. Six months ago, we argued, and my wife told me that I was a coward who didn't have the strength to accept love. That statement pierced me because it was true.

I feel like I understand the part of how to receive love. I am 38 years old, married for the last 12 years. Six months ago, we argued, and my wife told me that I was a coward who didn't have the strength to accept love. That statement pierced me because it was true.

A. Now coming to your story, I can relate to your inferior complex - I always felt scared that someone would find me out as a fake, dull, and ugly person. My childhood did it for me; your childhood did it for you. It damages our self-worth. First of all, do you love yourself? I see you see your worth through the eyes of your partner. It's OK not to be funny; it's OK to be average and tell poor jokes, and still smile at yourself for who you are. Every time I fail, I feel like my father is laughing at my face (with a reaction like see I told you so - He does not have any high hopes for me)

B. What you consider love is something she does for you, and then you compare it to what she did for someone else, measuring love. Very wrong. I have done this. Now I see that part of me, and I realise how less of a man I am to my partner. Buddy, don't do that. It's just a choice. You can stop that thought immediately. The only thing you can compare is what you are doing daily to yourself and your partner.

C. Your Ego is creating a massive wall, a defence wall to protect you from any fall (which you are afraid of but expect); hence, you are not vulnerable. You have a fear of expressing yourself, thinking the other person will leave if they fully know you. But the thing is, you haven't fully known yourself. You are a better person than you think you are.

D. Love is not only about being funny; it's about making yourself a home and being a place for others.

E. Actually, you say that you're afraid she settled for you, but you think you're better suited for her. You believe you're intellectual, but she doesn't see you that way. You think you have given her life and a chance, and feel entitled. Your sense of entitlement is what drives you to compare.

F. Love is obviously an effort, so you have to be open about your insecurities to yourself and then to your partner. If she talks about her ex-partner, it means she hasn't properly grieved her past, and if you love her, you should always ask her to share what she feels, what triggered her thoughts about the past, and what emotions she has. Tell her that you are becoming a rock-solid person who will no longer run from discomfort.

G. Continue working on yourself, as you mentioned, focusing on aspects like appearance and health. Do this because you love yourself, not to prove, please, or perform.

H. Consult with rainbowmedicine.com.au for help