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Many people have wondered what to do when a friendship with a colleague becomes something more. Do you tell your team, your manager, or HR, or do you keep it private? A 2026 US survey shows that hiding a workplace romance is common, but it cannot say what any one person should do.

What the researchers did

The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM), a US professional body, published its 2026 workplace romance research in February 2026. One part surveyed 1,243 US workers through an online panel on 8 December 2025. They had to be employed by an organisation, so the self-employed, retired people and independent contractors were excluded. The responses were not weighted to match the wider workforce.

A second part surveyed 1,553 human resources professionals in early December 2025, also unweighted. The release describes both groups' views on workplace relationships, disclosure and policy.

The results are retrospective. They rely on what people said about relationships they had been in, not on following couples or workplaces over time.

What they found

SHRM reported that 47 per cent of workers were in, or had previously been in, a workplace romance. Across all the romances they had been in, 56 per cent had hidden at least one from their team, 49 per cent from managers and 45 per cent from HR.

Opinion on disclosure was divided. About 48 per cent of workers and 49 per cent of HR professionals agreed that employees have a moral responsibility to report a workplace romance in certain circumstances, with a potential conflict of interest given as an example. Thirty per cent of HR professionals held the opposite view.

Comfort with colleagues dating was lower than a year earlier. Fifty-seven per cent of workers said they were somewhat or strongly comfortable with colleagues dating, down from 81 per cent in 2025. The release does not explain the drop.

Among hybrid or remote workers, 39 per cent said their work arrangement made it harder to meet romantic partners, while 37 per cent disagreed.

HR professionals named favouritism and unfair treatment as their top concerns. On policy, more than a third said their organisation had a clear, structured policy, 30 per cent said relationships were handled case by case, and 20 per cent said there was no formal policy. The press release does not report how workplace romances turned out for people, such as effects on careers or what happened when they ended.

What this does and does not show

This is a US survey of an online panel, and the results are unweighted, so they should not be read as a picture of all workers. The 56, 49 and 45 per cent figures describe people who had been in workplace romances, and they count romances across a person’s whole history rather than only current ones. They do not say how many couples are hiding a relationship right now.

The survey also does not show whether secrecy caused harm or whether disclosure helped. Two people who keep a relationship private may have little reason to disclose. Two others may have a real conflict of interest, such as one reporting to the other, in which case the reasons for openness are stronger. A survey of attitudes cannot sort one case from the other.

Most importantly, these are US findings. They are not Australian legal requirements. Employers, awards, contracts and codes of conduct in Australia differ, and some set their own disclosure rules. Where one person has power over the other’s pay, rostering or promotion, the question is less about privacy and more about fairness to others and about whether both people can freely say yes or no. If you are unsure what applies to you, read your employer’s policy or ask HR or a union representative. This article is general information, not legal or HR advice.

If a relationship at work involves pressure, threats or fear, the thoughts above do not apply. In Australia, Lifeline is on 13 11 14, and 000 is for emergencies.

Questions to ask

• Does either of us have any say over the other’s pay, hours, performance review or promotion, and what does my workplace policy say about that?
• Who could reasonably feel treated unfairly if this stays private, and who could be affected if it comes out later?
• Do we both feel free to speak up, say no or change our minds, and would we both be comfortable with the plan for telling people?

Source: SHRM 2026 Workplace Romance research (press release: Shhh... it's a secret)

Illustration of navigating a personal relationship within a workplace. AI-generated editorial illustration. This article summarises published research in our own words and is general information, not personal health advice.