Giving feedback to your therapist like you would a friend

In close relationships we learn to say what is working and what is not. The same honesty can make a therapy conversation far more useful.

What healthy relationships already teach us

Think of a friendship that has lasted. Somewhere along the way, one of you probably said that a joke landed badly or that you needed more listening and less advice. Being able to say so, and be heard, is part of why it lasted. A good therapeutic relationship works in a surprisingly similar way. Knowing the name of a method matters far less than feeling heard, understanding where the work is heading and being free to say when something is not helping.

Candour like this is precisely what Dr Christine Shen, Acupuncturist, hopes clients will offer; she is qualified in psychotherapy and works in Lane Cove.

Saying the awkward thing out loud

Feedback can feel uncomfortable, particularly for people who grew up keeping the peace. Yet you can bring it straight into a session with Christine. Share what you took away last time, what felt hard to talk about and what you would like to spend longer on. Perhaps an exercise felt pointless, or a question touched a nerve, or you left wishing you had raised something else. Discussing how the two of you work together is woven into therapy; holding it in until the final week helps nobody.

• What I understood from last time.
• What felt difficult or unhelpful.
• What I would like more time on.

Keeping direction in your hands

Your priorities belong at the centre. Let Christine hear the riddles you hope to solve, the patterns refusing to budge and what signs of change would mean something to you. Settle together on moments for taking stock, and on where to lean if life lurches between visits.

Practising honesty in a safe room

Many people find that speaking up in therapy makes it easier to do the same with partners, family and colleagues. If you are looking for a working relationship where feedback is genuinely welcome, booking an opening session at the Lane Cove clinic lets you test the water.